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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 20:52:02 GMT -5
Post by Vegitenks on Feb 19, 2005 20:52:02 GMT -5
Sorry dude, my MSN Messenger won't let me sign in because I can't upgrade it. I can't upgrade it because my internet accelerator isn't tuned right or something so...probably no more MSN Messenger...
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 21:00:39 GMT -5
Post by Pyroshock on Feb 19, 2005 21:00:39 GMT -5
**SPOILERS** He's immortal, but Scarth is telling him to kill them before he gets killed? Btw, awesome story. I'm gonna put this all in Word, make paragraphs, and fix a fem grammar errors.
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 21:09:26 GMT -5
Post by Vegitenks on Feb 19, 2005 21:09:26 GMT -5
Scarth senses that Michael still has doubt that he isn't Immortal so he tries to scare him. Sooner or later in the story, Michael will accept the truth...
Oh and...you all can post my story on other sites and stuff but please give me credit, I worked very hard on it and its not right for someone else to take it as their own...however, there's nothing I can really do about it if you put it on a website I don't know of...but god will take you as a bad person in the afterlife so don't do that. LOL
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 21:19:46 GMT -5
Post by Pyroshock on Feb 19, 2005 21:19:46 GMT -5
XD
I'm just fixing up a few grammar errors and making some words more advanced, then I was gonna post it at something like fanfic.com under your name. Is fanfic only for stories based off porfessionaly made stuff like Harry Potter and DBZ, or can you post original stories?
*EDIT*: You're name is Justin Keller, right?
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 21:26:31 GMT -5
Post by Vegitenks on Feb 19, 2005 21:26:31 GMT -5
Fanfiction...fan-- someone like you. fiction-- not real. So...you make your own stories...I guess you can write your own story about Harry Potter or something as long as you didn't copy it out of a copyrighted book... EDIT: oh yeah, my name is Justin Keller.
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 21:34:16 GMT -5
Post by Pyroshock on Feb 19, 2005 21:34:16 GMT -5
Just finished revising Chapter 1.
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 21:46:25 GMT -5
Post by Vegitenks on Feb 19, 2005 21:46:25 GMT -5
Thanks pyro, I appreciate it buddy. I'm really in the mood for writing all of a sudden so it's time for Chapter 5!!! Should be done in about 30 minutes. lmao EDIT: Damn, forgot to post chapter 4, I posted it on Matis' forum but forgot to post it here. brb
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 21:53:49 GMT -5
Post by Pyroshock on Feb 19, 2005 21:53:49 GMT -5
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 22:16:30 GMT -5
Post by Vegitenks on Feb 19, 2005 22:16:30 GMT -5
Chapter 4: Midtown Brawl That night Michael had been so exhausted from the battle he collapsed onto the floor and awoke early the next morning for combat training. "First of all..." Scarth began, "I want to teach you a few things about martial arts..." He jumped into a karate stance. Michael just stood there. "Do you know any karate...?" Michael remained silent for one more moment then his head tilted down. "Michael?!" Scarth yelled. The boy immediately jerked his head up. "what!" "were you sleeping?" "umm...yes, I'm quite tired from last night." "well, you slept almost half the day wasting our comat training time, it's already ten o' clock, we were supposed to be starting around seven." Michael let his head sink back down. Enraged by this, Scarth leaped forward and uppercut him through the ceiling. He was now on the upper level of the building a story higher. "Owww...what the..." Michael saw Scarth through the hole he had been uppercut through. "What did you do that for!?" he yelled. Scarth smiled back at him. "Sleeping." Michael jumped up and wiped some blood from his lip. "d**n...you sure do hit hard." "hehe," Scarth laughed then jumped through the hole and began beating Michael in the face as hard as he could. "Come on...is this all you've got?" He continued beating Michael in the face, blood splashing everywhere. "AHH!!" Michael yelled and a light surrounded his body. "Good." Scarth said, "You've learned energy shield." Michael was so angry by now that he didn't care what Scarth said or did. Michael lunged toward Scarth and punched him directly in the face then flipped around and back-kicked him through the wall. Scarth was slammed into a moving car. "AAHH!!" he yelled. Scarth fell to the ground on his knees gasping for breath. The car he hit had taken more damage than him. The entire front part of it was torn off and the windshield completely shattered. He stood up and wiped the blood from his face. "Nice one," he said smiling. Michael suddenly felt like a god and as if he could do anything. He jumped through the hole Scarth had been smashed through. He suddenly lost control, Michael began to fall down almost twenty stories high then landed head first into the top of a car tearing it in half. Pain surged through his body again but he ignored it. He sat up and pulled a chunk of metal from his head. Blood began pooring down into his eyes. "Ahh..." he sighed. Scarth appeared beside him. "Have a nice trip?" he asked laughing. Police cars were suddenly on the scene appearing everywhere. "Scarth...we're in trouble." Scarth didn't seem to care, he just stood there holding his face. "Nice punch back there." Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What?" "I said nice punch." "oh...umm...thanks, I guess. But, we need to leave right now." "Why?" " Cops are everywhere! Can't you see!" "Oh yes, them, they're not a problem Michael." "What?" "I said they're not a problem, are you having hearing problems?" "but..." Scarth turned around and began walking toward the sirens. "Just let me handle it..." There, now time for Chapter 5! P.S. It would help to listen to some of these songs while reading the story, I'll post some songs that I listened to that inspired me to give each chapter certain "times". By times I mean like...a moment. Preview-- Down With The Sickness by Disturbed (This song starts when Michael jumps off of the school building) Chapter 1-- Stupify by Disturbed (This song starts when Michael runs out of his house after the fight with his mom) Chapter 2-- Purity by Linkin' Park (This song starts at the beginning of the chapter when Michael wakes up, the name sounds familiar huh? ) Chapter 3-- Dragula by Rob Zombie (This song starts when Scarth uppercuts Michael into the ceiling) Chapter 4-- Remember by Disturbed (This song starts when Michael spots the Devil's Angels on the ceiling) Chapter 5-- Even though it hasn't been written yet, it'll start off with Michael being a little older so...this songs fits in perfectly...Creep by Stone Temple Pilots (It starts when Michael is leaving work) I'm just posting these songs so that you can get into the story a little better. I got most of these songs by downloading a program called Ares where you can download music, images, or videos. Do a search on google or yahoo for ares if you want then dl it and find the songs I posted. My computer is really crappy and almost everyone here has a better comp than me so I'm sure you'll have no problem downloading Ares...
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Purity
Feb 19, 2005 22:28:26 GMT -5
Post by Pyroshock on Feb 19, 2005 22:28:26 GMT -5
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Purity
Feb 20, 2005 0:24:43 GMT -5
Post by Gogetenks on Feb 20, 2005 0:24:43 GMT -5
Sorry dude, my MSN Messenger won't let me sign in because I can't upgrade it. I can't upgrade it because my internet accelerator isn't tuned right or something so...probably no more MSN Messenger... Do you have Windows XP? If you do than just use Windows Messenger.
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Purity
Feb 20, 2005 16:42:38 GMT -5
Post by Vegitenks on Feb 20, 2005 16:42:38 GMT -5
No, I don't have Windows XP...
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Purity
Feb 20, 2005 16:49:41 GMT -5
Post by Pyroshock on Feb 20, 2005 16:49:41 GMT -5
Do you like the revised version?
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Purity
Feb 20, 2005 18:20:25 GMT -5
Post by Vegitenks on Feb 20, 2005 18:20:25 GMT -5
Pyro, whenever I click on that link a box appears with a red x in it... Purity Chapter 5: On my own It's been almost four years since the incident with Michael McLaffin running away from home. There were police searches but they never found him. Michael lived with Scarth in the abandoned mansion all that time surviving off of stolen goods and studying every now and then (Even though Scarth thought it was useless). Training was also an important part of their every-day-life. Scarth taught Michael some of the dealiest moves in martial arts and some magic. Now, at the age of 18, he seeks a normal life of his own. "Scarth...I just want a normal life like other people, Immortality is great and all but...I want to get out and have a family and live a normal life. Why can't you understand? Haven't you ever felt this way?" Scarth was walking around the room with his arms crossed making grunting sounds every now and then. He was furious at Michael's choice to leave. "This is stupidity!" he yelled shooting out his arms. "I help you, teach you the way of the immortals, I even looked after you like a son, and this is how you repay me? By going back into the human world? What if they find out who you are? Do you have any idea what will happen!? I'll need your help soon and it will not be easy by myself!!!" Michael just stood still for a moment. "I'm sorry Scarth, I just want to be like everyone else again...at least for a while, I promise you, I shall return." With this he put his arms around Scarth in an attempt to hug him but Scarth pushed him away. "Get out of here! You're weak! Just leave!" Scarth took a box and threw it at him. Michael caught it and sighed then turned away walking out the door. It was a bright shiny day. People filled the streets with their dogs. A couple passed by holding hands. Michael smiled at them, they smiled back. Michael opened up the box revealing about $250. "First...I need to get a job." He began walking down the sidewalk with his hands in his jacket pockets. A group of kids passed by on skateboards. "Hello," Michael smiled and waved at them. "Nice shoes mister..." one of them joked. Michael looked down at his shoes. Reebok. The sides were slightly torn and the rubber was beginning to tarnish. "First impressions on getting a job are always important..." He continued walking down the sidewalk when he came to a Sneakers shoestore with 'Help Wanted' on the front door. He thought of the idea of getting a job and getting a new pair of shoes from the same place. This was amusing and he let out a small laugh. "Might as well try...I mean, it's not like its going to hurt or anything" He entered the store and the bell ringed. A tall man in a blue uniform was behind the cash register scanning some shoes. "Hello sir, how may I help you?" he asked. Michael walked up to the cash register and smiled. "Hello, I'm Mich-..." he began but then stopped, remembering Scarth's words. "Sir?" the man asked. He thought quickly then said, "Hello, I'm Jason Harbuck." The man was quite confused. "Umm...alright but what may I help you with, sir?" Michael hesitated then said, "Oh right, well uhh...I saw your sign on the door that help is wanted, I'd like to get a job working here." The man shook his head then bent down and pulled a sheet of paper out from underneath the cash register then gave it to Michael along with a pen. "Please fill this out." Michael took the paper and pen then walked over to a seat and sat down. After he had filled the paper out and given it back to the man he showed Michael around the store and everything. "I'd like to go ahead and buy some shoes too if you don't mind," Michael said looking down at his own shoes almost laughing. "Right..." Michael got a pair of Nike Air's then walked out of the store. "Now...almost dark...I'd better find a place to hit the sack. He found the nearest hotel and got an apartment. He was in his room undressing about to go to sleep when someone knocked on the door. He was half asleep when he opened it. "Ye-?" before he could answer a bullet was fired into his head. He went flying back and fell on the ground. A group of men entered his room and began feeling in his pockets and looking around for things to steal. "$167 bucks...what a cheap bastard," One said. They all had their backs turned when Michael woke up and slowly began to rise from the floor. "What are you doing!" he yelled. The men immediately turned around and began rapidly firing their weapons. Time began to slow down. Michael dodged the bullets then knocked the weapons out of the men's hands. He grappled one of them in a neckhold and snapped their neck then flipped around behind the other two and slammed their heads together over and over until they fell over dead. Blood spilled from underneath them. A woman came running into the room and saw Michael standing over the three dead men. "OH MY GOD!" she screamed, then took off running. "No! wait! you don't understand!" It was too late, a few moments later five security cops entered the room and opened fire. He dodged the bullets then tried to speak again. "Wait! You don't understand! I didn't do th-!" They opened fire once more, this time a bullet went through Michael's arm. "AH!" he yelled. A light surrounded him instantly and disintegrated the two cops. "Oh no...I've got to get out of here," he murmured to himself.
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Purity
Feb 20, 2005 18:26:42 GMT -5
Post by Pyroshock on Feb 20, 2005 18:26:42 GMT -5
Right click on it, save as.
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